Why does love hurt?

Painful relationshipsPicture this. It’s a special occasion, and you want your husband to remember it, to treat you in a special way, buy you a small gift or take you out, or maybe to speak those special words to you in that special tone of voice. Or maybe you’d just love to held or hugged in that perfect way.

But what happens? He forgets. He comes home in a grump. There’s no outing, no gift, no special words and no hug. And maybe even worse. All the efforts you made to mark the occasion have gone to waste.

How would that make you feel? If you’re most people – probably pretty bad.

You might feel justifiably angry. He should have remembered after all! Or perhaps you’ll just feel sad, that you didn’t get to feel loved in the ways you wanted.

Maybe you feel afraid that your relationship is danger. Is he going to leave you?
Possibly you feel hurt, that all your efforts went unnoticed, ignored or rejected?
Or do you feel guilty? Perhaps you didn’t love him enough for him to reciprocate.

All these emotions are actually the resistance to LOVE, and it’s triggered by the inner desire for some outer experience.

A painful emotion is the tension we feel when there’s a difference between what we want, and what we have.

So the bottom line is that all emotional pain comes from expectations. When you expect someone else to be or do or give you something and you don’t get that you feel pain.

Now many people would say the way to feel more love is to create more experiences that fit your expectations.

But what if you turned it on its head?

What if you decided that you had all the love you could possibly want already flowing in you? Maybe it comes from your direct connection to source energy.

And what if you have no need for anyone else to do anything in order for you to feel that love? Indeed the very desire or expectation that someone else will cause YOU to have love moving in your neurology makes no sense. The energy of love is already within you, and it can move any time you choose it to.

Try this experiment…

Let go of any expectations of anyone, any group of people or anything, or to be or do or give you anything in any way. Run this experiment for a whole day.

Notice how much more love you feel within your own being.

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